Uncle sent word that if I didn’t appear before him and answer his questions in front of a jirga, he would cut off my brother’s fingers. A month passed in this way. Then I learned Uncle had cut off three of my brother’s fingers. I can’t tell you the pain I felt. I didn’t think I had my own fingers. It was my fault because I know my country; I know my family.
You say you want to help me but I am living in a situation where you cannot help me. All of my province is full of Talibs. Two days ago, two brothers were killed because the Taliban said they worked with the government. They were our relatives. One had two children, and the other left a pregnant wife. No one can talk, and all men wear beards.
The road from southeastern Afghanistan to Kabul is no longer safe. Along the way, Talibs will suddenly appear from nowhere and stop cars. They check all the passengers and ask for their ID cards. They want to know who is traveling. They check to see if anybody in the car works for the government or if anybody has a mobile phone. They check to see if the phone has a camera. If it does, they kill the person. If the phone has a song, they kill the person.
I used to think big. When I was six, I made my mom let me go to school, and I loved it. My father told me: “If you stay at the top of your class until the end of your studies, I will do two things for you. First, I will let you go abroad to continue your education. Secondly, I will buy you a car and let you drive.” With the encouragement of my father, I was a superstar in my classes. He was my first English teacher and he always called me “my scholar daughter.”
I love my job. I know it can help bring changes in women’s living conditions in my province. But there are obstacles.
Recently I received a death threat from Taliban. I was on my way to work when a neighbor called out to me and said, “You must return home because we found a letter from the Taliban threatening you, and you must quit your job right now.”
The Afghan Women's Writing Project : Dedicated to the Memory of Zarmeena
Security notice:
The security situation can be difficult for many women in Afghanistan, especially those who are determined to further their education or those who frankly tell their stories. Out of concern for their safety, this blog will not use family names or specific locators.
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